Thirty-one weeks ago, we watched in a darkened room as an ultrasound technician pointed out the grainy shape of our eight-week-old baby. When we heard his loud, strong heartbeat, I cried. We were so happy.
Twenty-seven weeks ago, we sat in the same room while the same technician looked desperately for some sign of life. I don't think she wanted to say it, so I said it for her. We had Micah there with us, because the daycare was closed for snow, and that was a blessing, really. We needed him then.
Saturday was my due date. If things had gone differently, we would have a newborn right now. That's such a strange thought, because I don't know how we'd have done it. A small, guilty part of me is honestly grateful to have more time with Micah alone. I think about giving up my time with him to cope with a newborn, and...well...it's confusing. I'm sad, and it's going to be a very long time before I'm not, but I'm a little relieved too. I guess that sounds horrible, but there it is.
What a completely, unimaginably different life it would have been.
Sunday, August 15, 2010 - 09:14 p.m.
A while back, my friend Jonathan got engaged to a beautiful girl named Kalie. A while later I worked up the nerve to ask him if they would be willing to let me attempt to do some engagement pictures. For free, of course, and with the understanding that they'd still reserve a real photographer to do real engagement shots at a later date. He said sure, they'd do it. I spent several weeks hyperventilating into a paper bag. Then last Sunday, we braved the 100 degree heat and went to the park downtown to take some pictures.
It was a real learning experience - as it was meant to be, I suppose. I had a hard time remembering to check all my camera settings, something real photographers do by instinct and reflex. I don't have the right equipment to do a lot of the shots I wanted to. I didn't have a good feel for what shutter speed/aperture to use in which light conditions. I had no idea how to pose people (I mean, my usual subject is a toddler). I didn't know what to say or do to put all of us at ease. Also, I was completely surprised by how much I hurt the next day, after only an hour of getting up and down. It was awkward, flesh-meltingly hot, and a little confusing, and the whole time I was worried I was failing miserably.
But when I got home, I found that amongst all the glaring technical errors and rookie mistakes (and believe me, there were A GREAT MANY), I managed to get a few pictures I loved.
And you know what? They love them too. Yay!
In the end, I think we all got something good out of the experience. I'm glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and gave it a shot.
Timeline of woe
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 - 03:13 p.m.
July 2 - We move in.
July 30 - AT&T finally installs all their wire, and we have internet. Glorious internet!
August 2 - Some douchebag contractor accidentally cuts the newly-installed lines. No more internets for us.
August 6 - AT&T says not to worry, they've fixed it all! But it turns out they completely swapped our connection with someone else's. We start getting calls for some Random Dude, and we still don't have DSL service because Random Dude wasn't subscribed. I resist the urge to tell callers Random Dude was arrested for streaking a daycare playground.
August 9 - AT&T finally gets the connections sorted out. Yay internet!
August 10 - But...wait...it's down. Why is it down? What happened? It was working at 1:30 PM, WHERE DID MAH INTERNETS GO? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
August 11 - After keeping Todd on the phone for over an hour, AT&T has no idea why our connection has gone tits up again. But not to worry, they're going to get someone out to check the network by 6 PM...ON FRIDAY.
So, to sum it up, in the 40 days we've lived in the new house, we've had an internet connection for 3.5 days. And two of those days, we were out of town. When you put it like that, what's two more days? Right?
As requested, here are some pictures of the new house. I took these the day we closed, as we were conducting our final walk-through. The house wasn't completely finished (it still isn't), but you can get the general idea.