I can't believe it's already the end of December. Christmas blew by so fast I barely noticed. I guess I was preoccupied with going back to work and sorting out all the logistics of being a working mom. That, and we're sort of chronically exhausted these days. We managed to decorate, but most of our holiday traditions were either put off to the last minute or skipped entirely. It never really felt like Christmas, and I'm kind of bummed about that.
For the holiday itself, we traveled to visit Todd's family in Alpharetta. Then we drove up to visit his dad in Knoxville, where we managed to squeeze in a side trip to see my grandparents and several aunts, uncles, and cousins in Kingston. All together, it was kind of a whirlwind trip, and although I know we spent a lot of time happily sitting around eating and talking, my memory is mostly a mix of interstates and staggering around unfamiliar rooms in the middle of the night to feed and change a baby. In other words, I'm pooped.
This morning we took Micah by his new daycare. Tomorrow we'll actually leave him there for a few hours, and Monday he'll start full-time. It's a wonderful daycare, and I know he'll be fine, but it's not at all how I or my sister would take care of him, and I'm trying very hard not to worry. So there's that.
Oh yeah, and work. Of which I've been doing very little today. Blarh.
But hey, on the bright side, Todd got me a very nice flash for my camera, and I kind of want to make out with it every time I take a picture because DAMN it kicks the ass of the on-camera flash. Seriously, just thinking about it makes me deliriously happy. That in and of itself makes Todd significantly awesome. But the fact that he bought me a flash knowing it would encourage me to take even more pictures, many of which he will certainly be the victim subject, despite his intense dislike of having his picture taken...well, that just makes him even more of a wonderful husband.
Since it's been a while, I suppose I'll close with a Micah update. He is now sleeping like an angel at night, only waking up once to eat. He naps fairly well during the day. The days of screaming for hours on end are DONE. He still has his Arsenic Hour from about 6 PM to 7 PM, but the rest of the time he is happy to play in his gym, sit in his swing, or hang out in someone's lap. He is all smiles and giggles, and I swear I never knew before how addictive a baby's laugh could be. I'll do anything for one of his smiles, and his laughter makes my heart expand until I can't even breathe for joy. Not so long ago, I was afraid I'd never feel what I thought I should for my child. Now, suddenly, I'm there. And it is so amazingly good.
The Return of the Engineer
Thursday, December 18, 2008 - 04:41 p.m.
I started back to work Monday after taking the last three months off to stay with Micah. The idea is to continue breastfeeding, so I'd planned ahead and pumped enough to have what I thought was a pretty good amount of milk in the freezer - a stash he promptly guzzled down on the first day. I didn't expect him to eat so much, nor did I expect repeated pumping to make me feel like someone had whacked me in the boob with a hammer. The first day's results were pretty meager too, at least compared to what Milk-Hog McGee is gulping down. But since then the girls have stepped up to the plate, and now there is milk aplenty. I have never been more proud of mah boobies.
(If you're feeling uncomfortable right now, just know that every male coworker who's walked into the kitchen to see me rinsing out pump parts is totally with you.)
I figure it's going to take me a while to get used to being both a mother AND a full-time employee. I'm learning to organize and pack everything the night before, to get up early to fit in everything I need to do, to manage waking, feeding, and dressing a baby while still getting ready for work. I've got a routine down that gets me and the baby out of the door in the mornings with only a minimum of running around like a headless chicken. We're coming around to an evening routine that lets us spend time with Micah, but also gets him in bed at a reasonable time. Eventually I'll figure out how to stick to a menu, but come on, I've only been at this four days.
Going back to work has been simultaneously a relief and one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I love my job and my coworkers and I am so, so happy to be back. I don't think I'll ever get used to being away from my baby for eight hours every day.
But life goes on. Micah starts daycare on January 5th, so pretty much just as we get used to having my (awesome, caring, and oh-so-lovely) sister watch him, it will be time to get used to a new situation. The daycare is about five minutes from my office, so I'll be able to go over and nurse him at lunch (WIN) and I can drop him off and pick him up easily. I don't think it will always go smoothly or anything, but we're slowly getting used to this new life of ours.
The only thing I can say
Wednesday, December 17, 2008 - 10:38 a.m.
With regards to this, I hope Alabama Attorney General Troy King burns in hell. He does what he does for politics, but I think he also does it for his own personal pleasure at hurting others, and I hope he pays.