*grr ftt* ~ Monday, April 29, 2002 ~ 9:01 PM

Uh oh. Sarah's blogging again. That can only mean one thing....PROCRASTINATION.

And indeed, it is so. Right now, I have about as much interest in studying fluids as I do watching Brady Bunch reruns, which to me is much much worse than, say, a root canal or death by monkeys.

What was that? Fluids? But wasn't that the final that the proctor didn't show up for?

Why, so it is. My asshole of a prof called me today around 11:15, while I was gone to lunch, and left me a message to call him back. I got back from my job interview, noticed I had a message, and called him back only to get his wife, who then proceeds to tell me that he gave the make up final at 2. Yes, the unmitigated bastard actually had the nerve to call me at 11 to tell me to show up for a final at 2. So now I have to go tomorrow, on the day I had planned free to study for my soil mechanics final, to take his damn test when it's HIS fault for not finding a proctor who could show up on time. *seeths* I am not a happy bunny. I'm actually a very irate bunny. I absolutely hate it when other people screw up and it comes back to haunt me.

I start the job at QORE on Monday, May 13th. Woo hoo! I can't wait until this semester is over with. I am so looking forward to having my days consist of work at QORE, work for Dr. Leonard, and then coming home to....nothing. No homework, no tests, no staying up until midnight stressing over the ten gazillion assignments due the next day. I'll work, but when I leave work, it's not going to follow me home. It will be wonderful.

I had a lot of fun tonight. Jessica, Greg, and eventually Jared came over and we made fun of each other's horoscopes and just generally made jackasses of ourselves. Jessica and I also went and got ice cream to sooth our exam-stressed nerves. It didn't really help me, but it was good ice cream just the same.

I think I may just take the rest of the night off, go to bed early, and get up early tomorrow to study fluids and soils. *hiss*

A very irate bunny indeed.

Current Music: 'Because the Night' - 10000 Maniacs

Now that that's over... ~ Monday, April 29, 2002 ~ 12:47 PM

Quote of the Day: "It's a magic cow. It's full of steaks!" - Sluggy Freelance

Gah, one final down, one (or maybe two?) to go. I still haven't heard anything about my fluids final, but I had my history one at 8 AM this morning. The essay parts didn't go too well, but it was about my average. On the other hand, I made an A on my paper. Quite amusing because I didn't think it was very well written at all - I could have easily spent another day or so on it. But hey, it doesn’t matter what I think and I'm not arguing. ;-)

Now all I really have left to worry about is my soils final. That could really prove to be a bitch, but I'm pretty confident. It's only class this term in which I've really learned something, meaning I shouldn't have to review too much. Hell, the last two tests in there I didn't start studying for until three hours before the test! Oh yeah, I definitely work best under extreme pressure. *grin*

Talked to my parents last night and found out that they finally convinced my grandparents to move to Hendersonville from Memphis. My parents are going to buy a house for them just around the corner from ours in a really pretty neighborhood. I'm happy that they're finally getting out of Memphis. The area they're in has gone from what was once a wonderful neighborhood to a section that suggests a kevlar bathrobe and good aim as prerequisites to getting your morning paper. So I'm glad they're leaving.

It's depressing, though, because some of my best memories are in that house. I'm the oldest of the seven grandkids on my dad's side, so I've been the ringleader through countless exploits. I mean, we all know exactly how to sneak through that house, obtain the objective of the sacred cookie tin, and vanish once again without ever being subjected to parental observation. Our rite of passage is to climb all the way up the ginkgo tree in their front yard and back down again, all by yourself, without breaking any bones - yours or someone else's. My cousin Emily is six and she's the only one left who's too small to make it; she's going to be furious. The tea parties where we forced poor David to dress up like a girl, the adventures we had, the hours of recreational sibling torture...so many wonderful memories. It's there I learned how to jump spiked fences without shredding myself (after a few trial runs, that is), how to construct massive multi-sectioned sheet tents that span two rooms and a hallway, how to bluff in poker, and how to plaster oneself across the top of a shower stall...because we all know no one ever looks up. I learned that no matter what you do, HIDE THE EVIDENCE...and that sometimes that doesn't help because grandmothers can sense mischief at forty paces. Oh yeah, and that you should always listen to your grandparents, not just because they have good stories to tell, but also because they can rationalize ice cream at breakfast and they can teach you how to do the same.

I'm going to go over there for a weekend in May, I think. I haven't visited in a while and I'd like to see everyone together. The house will be mostly packed up, but I'm sure I could stay with one of my aunts or uncles. I know they would all be delighted to see me, although I know I'd definitely have to spend obligatory Barbie time with Emily. ;-)

Oh yeah, and about the new blog pic...I know, the layout's plain and not-so-pretty, but I didn't have much time. I would have just left it, but I'd had that butterflies one for waaaay too long and I was just getting so sick of it. *Grin* So instead, you get this. My apologies. At least the painting is pretty. It's called Medalon by Stephani Pui-Mun Law. Go, see more of her artwork. It's beautiful!

Current Music: 'The Old Ways' - Loreena McKennitt

Oblivious ~ Sunday, April 28, 2002 ~ 9:05 PM

Well, I was going to go for a run tonight, but unless I feel like donning full scuba gear, I'm not leaving this apartment. All I can say is, that is one hell of a storm! :-) It looks like it's calming down now, but the part I saw was awesome. And to hear Kristen talk, I missed the good part when there wasn't any rain. I was concentrating so hard on studying that I didn't notice all the lightning, but she tells me there were people laying outside on blankets watching. That's how spectacular it was. *sigh* I swear, if it wasn't for Kristen I wouldn't notice a damn thing until a tornado or a nuclear weapon hit.

I'm almost done looking over all the topics on the history review sheet. All that's left is to write my essays and then I can head to bed. My final is at 8 AM tomorrow. :-P I've also got a job interview at QORE to go to at 2. Jessica is letting me borrow her car so I don't have to leech off of anyone else. Did I mention she's a wonderful person?

I really hope I get this job. Like I said, they told me I already have it and I just have to go to the interview, but there's always a chance that my would-be boss could change her mind. Which would really really suck. I can't even describe how much I'm looking forward to having an income and my own car. I HATE being dependent on anyone for anything. I hate having to always rely on other people for rides. I hate the fact that if I want to go somewhere or do something, anything, I have to inconvenience someone else. I really hate not having money. And I'm really looking forward to all that changing. I won't be making much and I won't have the best car in the world, but that doesn't matter. With a car, I won't go crazy and I won't drive other people crazy. Just so long as I can get around by myself, everything is good. *grin*

On a side note: This is a freakin' small campus! Everyone knows everyone else! It's like the UAH version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon! I can't even believe how many friends I have who know each other through completely unrelated channels. It's weird, I tell you! Has to be some sort of conspiracy...

It's too bad about not going running. I needed the time to think. So much has changed in the last few weeks and it hasn't exactly been a bargain deal for everyone concerned. This summer is going to be very very different and I'm not sure how to deal with all the changes. At least I won't be caged up on campus like last summer!

Current Music: 'Dante's Prayer' - Loreena McKennitt

Happy! ~ Sunday, April 28, 2002 ~ 3:46 PM

To offset the misery that was Friday, yesterday was just a damn good day all around. It started out pretty well, then I went to Panoply at 11 with Jessica. We wandered around for about three hours, listening to music, looking at all the nifty art booths, and enjoying the beautiful day. We very briefly saw Jeff, Kat, and Sean as well a bunch of other people I knew. I didn't get to see any of the ballet stuff, as most of that is going on today, but I enjoyed everything else.

Then I came home and decided to take some time to clean up. I picked up all the papers and clothes that the rest of my room had been buried under, did laundry, and washed dishes. Now my room is all pretty and navigable and ever so much nicer than it was. ;-) Just as I was finishing all that up, Todd called me and told me that he was organizing a friendly little get-together at his place and that I was invited if I could take a break. At this point I was definitely done with studying for the day, so I went and they grilled hamburgers and we watched movies while we ate. Then once enough beverages had been consumed, we left to go ice skating. Jackie and I are both getting better (kind of), but there's nothing like a bunch of hockey-mad freaks messing around on the other side of the rink to emphasize exactly how little skating ability one has. *Grin* Once the rink closed, we all went and saw The Scorpion King. It's purely a hack-and-slash type movie and the sheer cheesy goodness makes it funny as hell. Lots of gratuitous boob shots, snakes, fire, and a high number of wannabe badasses - everything I expected.

It was a long night, but it was a lot of fun. Of course now it's back to studying. I went to the review and I feel pretty confident in my ability to do well on this final, but I still have to write out my two essays and look over the study sheet. I missed five classes, but all the information is in the book and it won't take me very long to read up on it. That's the beauty of liberal arts classes - you don't need anyone else to explain it to you. Books are actually useful! Who knew...

Current Music: 'Good Enough' - Sarah McLachlan

The Final That Was Not ~ Friday, April 26, 2002 ~ 5:17 PM

I was supposed to have a Fluids final today. I worked my ass off the last two days, missed several opportunities to go out with my friends and have a lot of fun, worried myself sick over the damn practice test, and then our proctor didn't even show up. Our prof was out running a marathon in Florida or something and he said he'd gotten a friend of his to proctor our test. It was supposed to start at 3. At 3:30 we decided to hell with the test, signed our names and email addys, turned them in at the MAE department, and left. I've never had this happen before and I'm really hoping he'll just say screw the final and take our grade as is. ;-)

I have a ton of things I should be doing. I should DEFINITELY be doing laundry. I should do dishes. I need to clean my room. I need to study for history. I need to work on the Bigfire webpage. I need to get some food and some sleep. But instead, here I am, dicking around online and blogging. *sheepish grin*

Tomorrow morning, Jessica and I are going to go check out Panoply. It's an arts festival held every year in Big Spring Park in downtown Huntsville. I went year before last and it was a lot of fun. They have everything from painting and sketching, to pottery, dance, acting, and metalwork. It's cool just to wander through and see what you find. ;-) I'm really looking forward to it! I also just noticed that the finals for the choreography competition are tomorrow night at the VBC. Hmm.....

So tomorrow is shaping up to be a really good day. A chance to relax before next week hits. *grin*

Current Music: 'Cruel to Be Kind' - Letters to Cleo

I'm not a bum! ~ Thursday, April 25, 2002 ~ 4:31 PM

So today I went and dropped off my resume at QORE Property Sciences and filled out a job app. The woman who is wanting to hire me wasn't there, so it wasn't a full-blown interview, but they did show me around the place. I'll be stuck in a little windowless office most of the time, entering lab data into a computer, but I should also get to do some lab work, which will be fun. It's mostly geotech stuff, which means I'll be playing in a lot of dirt. *Grin* My kind of job. The woman showing me around told me that I pretty much have the job; all that's left is the formality of an interview. So, three cheers for me not being a bum anymore!!!

Of course, now there's the small matter of a car. Assuming I DO get the job, I'm going to go looking for one over the semester break. My parents are pushing me to get a new car, but I'll probably end up with used. I'd love to buy "my" car off my dad - a 93' Camry V6LE that I really love. Unfortuntely, he likes it too and since it's getting the age where it's starting to have problems, he's not willing to sell it to me. *sigh* But I should have fun car hunting. :-)

And now, here's the real kicker. With a car, I can get off campus! Hell yeah! I'm already signed up for the fall semester, but I can get out of that as long as I decide before June 18th. And I really really want to. I'm sick of roommates, I'm sick of loud people, I'm sick of nasty kitchens and nasty floors, and I'm sick of cinder block walls and dark, tunnel-like rooms. If I do make it off campus, Jessica will most likely be my roommate. We've done the roommate thing before and it worked out pretty well. ;-)

I also finally got my lab report turned in. Now, all I have to worry about is this damn fluids homework and my fluids final tomorrow. *cringe* I'm hoping I can find some classmates to help me out, but if I don't, it's not that big of a deal. I've got an A in the class right now and he's going to curve it at the end. I'm really not terribly worried, just annoyed that I don't have a CLUE about what's going on in that class. I have an A and absolutely no knowledge of Fluid Mechanics. Sad, huh?

Current Music: 'I Think We're Alone Now' - Tiffany

Whee! ~ Tuesday, April 23, 2002 ~ 5:39 PM

Yay! Finally the next Honor Harrington book is coming out! Actually, I've known for a couple of weeks, I just forgot to blog my happiness. ;-) It's supposed to be released in October this year. I kind of skimmed the first chapter at Baen's website and while it doesn't start out sounding as good as the others, I'm definitely willing to give it a chance. David Weber is my hero when it comes to sci-fi, especially after The Armageddon Inheritance and Echoes of Honor. *drool* Bow down and worship David Weber, I command it.

I'm still kind of depressed about having to give up ballet for the summer. However, if I can get a car, maybe I can pick it back up. Of course, a car is contingent upon a decent-paying job. I talked to my advisor yesterday and I'll definitely have a class/research to keep me occupied over the summer, but I'd also like to have a part-time job too. I'm calling about one as a lab tech tomorrow. Here's hoping!

I'm supposed to be doing my lab report right now, but my brain is already shutting down. I've been up since 4AM, so it's got a reason, but I really really need to work some more on the report. At least tomorrow's a free day! I can get up early, finish the lab, do my soils homework, and get started on my fluids homework. It'll be nice not to have classes, but I wish I got a break like everyone else! I am soooo looking forward to this summer because no matter what I end up doing, it's not going to be a ton of classes!

The maintenance guy just got here to fix our air conditioner. Came back from class this morning to find that it was completely iced over again. Go on, applaud my roommate for setting the thermostat for 65. So I turned it off, got a bucket and couple towels, and waited for it to thaw. He said he just got done adding some freon to it, so if nothing else had happened it wouldn't ice up anymore, but he also said that the electrical system on it fried when he turned it back on. So now we're getting a new unit sometime soon. I've been telling them about both the freon problem and the electrical issue for three semesters now and they didn't believe me. Man, it's good to be right every now and then, but it isn't so good not having an air conditioner when it's as toasty as it has been. I'm hoping they'll get us a new unit faster than they did a new fridge!

Anyways, time to get back to work. *yawn* Or maybe it's time for a little nap.....

Current Music: 'Only Happy When It Rains' - Garbage

Taking a Break ~ Tuesday, April 23, 2002 ~ 4:51 AM

It's 4:50 AM. Why am I blogging?

Well, you see, I'm not the brightest person in the world when it comes between choosing to take a much-needed break for a weekend or doing the homework I have stacked up from my little trip to Tallahassee at the beginning of the month. So instead of staying in Huntsville this past weekend like I probably should have, I went with Todd down to his dad's catfish farm. I had a lot of fun and I desperately needed the break away from Huntsville. No better place to go than the middle of nowhere, surrounded by beautiful scenery, to get away from the stress of finishing up a semester in engineering. Unfortunately, it was all still waiting to ambush me when I got home. I managed to finish my history paper and my soils project yesterday, both ON TIME and with relatively few errors, but only at the expense of much sleep. I crashed last night after the ASCE meeting, but since I have two ethics papers due today and an ethics test/final, I had to haul my ass up out of bed to work on them.

Tonight should be fun. I miss all my friends. A lot. They think I don't, but I do. I've been so busy lately that I haven't really seen anyone for more than five minutes in...well, forever. It really gets to me some days, especially when I hear about incredibly important events in their lives that I should have known about and didn't because I wasn't around. So, since today is the last day of classes and tomorrow is a study day, I decided that I wanted to see everyone. I've invited just about all my old friends from my first couple years here in Huntsville to all go to Bennigan's tonight for a friendly little get-together. Maybe I'll be able to catch up on some of what I've missed, but if not I'll at least get to see them.

Well, I'm eating a little breakfast now and I'm about to start my papers as soon as the caffeine breaks through the fuzz around my brain. I've got until 11:30. On your mark...get set...........GO!

Current Music: 'Whatever' - Hamasaki Ayumi

Moses has lost his mind! ~ Wednesday, April 17, 2002 ~ 7:02 PM

Quote of the Day: "This looks like a job for emergency pants!" - Today's Sluggy

Dr. Moses, my fluids professor, is insane. Until today I was content to merely assume advanced senility, but no longer. First off, our entire final will be based off something he saw in a sci-fi movie once. It's all about an ice mining operation on the moon. We get to deal with the mechanics of the massive railgun installed to launch transports full of fuel back to eath orbit as well as the methods of transporting the liquid oxygen and hydrogen mined from the moon's polar caps. That was all okay, but then he launched into a problem about how humans could fly on the moon if they had wings. From there the discussion dissolved into genetic manipulation to produce half-animal, half-human creatures and how such things were only a few years away. In fact, they've already created at least two, but the scientists just aren't allowing them to breed for fear of what they might do the world. Then he moved onto how Iraq is already using cloning and genetic manipulation to create a super-intelligent army with which to terroize the world. And he was not joking. Yeah, he's seen waaaaay too many sci-fi movies. At least there's only two more classes of this shit.

Yesterday was nice. My parents got into Huntsville at 9 and after a quick breakfast, we all went over to the Univeristy-wide Honors Convocation. They gave me a nice pretty piece of paper for being the 2002 ASCE UAH CE Student of the Year and I listened to a lot of speeches. Then, my parents took Todd and I out to lunch. Then it was back to campus for the Engineering Honors Convocation. They gave me three nice pretty pieces of paper (Dean's List, TBP, and the ASCE thing again), a hefty pat on the back, and sent me on my way. After my parents went back home, I actually managed to finish most of my history paper - enough to take it by today for my prof to evaluate. She said it was really good, which kind of made me laugh since I didn't even start it until Sunday night. She also extended the deadline to Monday.

So now, the plan is to write my ethics paper on the ASCE Code of ethics tonight and start on my soils project. I want to get as much as possible done before I leave Friday afternoon. We also just failed out health and safety inspection. Damn roommates, leaving dirty dishes out in the sink and not wiping up the stuff they drop on the floors. *sigh* I guess I have to mop the floor first.

Current Music: 'Kensington Place' - Heather Duby

Pictures from Regionals ~ Saturday, April 13, 2002 ~ 3:57 PM

STARS & Stripes ~ The fastest boat in the Southeast Region. This year, our team set two new national records in the men's sprint and the co-ed races.

Product Judging ~ This is a very poor quality photo and doesn't do our boat justice.

STARS & Stripes in the Water ~ Getting the boat ready for the paddlers.

STARS & Stripes Being Carried ~ Notice it only takes two people to carry our concrete boat. That's because it's only 72 lbs. Oh yeah, we RULE!

Crystal and I in the Women's Distance ~ Not sure which run this is. Our first run they called us off because the stopwatch didn't start. Never mind that they are required to have multiple timers....

About to Plant ~ No, this is not the turn where I dropped my paddle after catching it on a buoy rope. This is. Dammit.

Our Display ~ It was constructed completely from the same concrete mix we used in our canoe. It took second place to this. Considering that UF went to last year's nationals to observe, I suppose we can't be too suprised that their display looks remarkably similar to Western Kentucky University's entry at that competition.

Puerto Rico's Boat ~ This boat beat us for final product. Yeah, it's pretty, but we did the same paint job back in 1999. And ours was better. So nyuh!

Sprint Start "Line" ~ Is it just me, or are those buoys just a BIT off?

The pictures of us at the awards ceremony have somehow been omitted from those posted by FSU, as have those of our boat at final product judging. I also can't find any of our men's sprint, men's distance, or coed. I found one of us in the women's sprint prelims, but none of the finals. *shrug* I guess we'll have to wait until members of our chapter get their film developed. Until then, more pictures of the 2002 Southeast Regional Conference can be found here. Enjoy.

Shit Happens ~ Friday, April 12, 2002 ~ 9:38 PM

This week has been quite possibly one of the worst of my life. It started out with 'wow doesn't this suck' when we lost Regionals to UF, worked its way up to 'why does the universe hate me so' with being sick, then sailed right on past horrible to a realm that defies description when I ended up in the ER for about three hours last night. Wait, that was AFTER I spent almost two whole hours being violently ill. Apparently I had a bad reaction to the antibiotics I was taking. All I know is that no one would do me the favor shooting me in head; the best I could hope for was that I'd somehow drown in the toilet. Didn't happen, and in retrospect it's probably for the best, but I don't think I've been in that much pain or been that sick in a very very long time. Fortunately, Todd knew not to listen to me when I insisted I didn't need to go to the hospital. He, Jackie, and Kristen all ended up over at Huntsville Hospital until about 2AM and I owe them all more than I can ever repay. Everything's good now, though. One IV and a massive dose of Phenergan later, all I'm left with is a throbbing headache and cramps in my arms and legs. And those, I can handle.

Unfortunately, I missed the STARS class tour of Marshall Spaceflight Center. :-( I was really looking forward to it, but I didn't wake up until 1 and they left at 12:30. I didn't really feel well enough to go anyway, so it works out, but I really wish I'd been able to go. I talked to Jackie for a few mins today and he said it was really cool. I guess I'll wait and see if they go again in the fall.

This has definitely been the week of 'shit happens.' Here's hoping next week's a lot better. ;-) For now, I'm going to sleep of this headache and pretend like today never happened. That is, if the people shrieking outside my window will shut the hell up.

Current Music: 'Isobel' - Dido

 


Name : Sarah, Flame, Sly, Ferocious, S
Birthdate : October 3, 1981
Gender : Female
Occupation : Full Time Enlightened One; Part Time Poor College Student
Major : Civil Engineering :-) Heh.
Email : Starfire_child@yahoo.com
Homepage : Habitat

Friends' Blogs:
- Avani
- Jen
- Omega
- portablekat
- CitizenROM
- Lakota
- CommiePuddin
- Russell
- Club Todder
- Digital Tirade

Fun Stuff:
- Sluggy Freelance
- Dilbert
- The Kill Everyone Project
- The Art of Michael Whelan
- The Art of Stephanie Pui-Mun Law
- Elfwood
- Official String Theory Web Site
- Astronomy Pic of the Day

Archive:
- 2.22.02 ~ 4.10.02
- 1.03.02 ~ 2.20.02
- 10.16.01 ~ 12.28.01
- 8.25.01 ~ 10.9.01
- 7.23.01 ~ 8.22.01
- 6.25.01 ~ 7.20.01
- 5.23.01 ~ 6.19.01
- 4.16.01 ~ 5.19.01
- 3.19.01 ~ 4.13.01
- 3.01.01 ~ 3.18.01
- 1.22.01 ~ 2.28.01

Current Favorite Songs:
- 'Amazed' by Poe
- 'Doughnut Song' by Tori Amos
- 'Heart and Shoulder' by Heather Nova
- 'Wild' by Poe

Books You Should Read:
- the Honor Harrington series by David Weber
- the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling
- Mutineer's Moon by David Weber
- the Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin
- the Dune series by Frank Herbert
- The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
- The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Favorite TV Shows
- Farscape
- Babylon 5
- Crusade
- ST:TNG, DS9, and Enterprise
- The Daily Show

Movies to See:
- The Whole Nine Yards
- Shrek
- Fallen
- Labyrinth
- STAR WARS
- Leon / The Professional
- The Usual Suspects
- Center Stage
- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
- Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal
- The Fifth Element
- Apollo 13
- The Last Supper
- What's Up Doc?
- Mulan
- anything Mel Brooks
- The Dark Crystal
- Courage Under Fire
- Memento
- Rules of Engagement
- Following

Song of the Month:
Amazed
Poe

It's amazing to me I can't
Seem to say what I'm doing here
My tongue is all twisted around the air
I'm looking for words that were so well rehearsed
But I can't find them anywhere
With you there's no easy answer
It's true
You change the equation that I add up to
And all of the things that I thought I knew
You turn it around

I'm amazed
When push comes to shove what I'd give to you
Everything
I'm amazed
The hallways I wouldn't mind crawling through
And I'd do it for days and days

I'm amazed, I'm amazed

The places you're taking me to

Wait, I thought I had this down
I built all my cages and my hideout
And I covered all my bases
I locked the door, I shut all my windows
But you
You creep in like a whisper
It's true
I try not to listen, yeah, but I hear you
I'm not really sure just what it is you do
But do it again

I'm amazed
When push comes to shove what I'd give to you
Everything
I'm amazed
The walls that I wouldn't mind crashing through
And I'd do it for days and days

I'm amazed, I'm amazed

At all of the things I know you have done
'Cause this time I think we've really won
The tables have turned
Now I'm taking my hat off to you
You said "we'll see"
But darling it's all clear to me

I'm amazed

And here in the foyer the hallway is small
I don't really think it's a hallway at all
It's a maze

Johnny your suitcase was finally received
She's packed up her things and she's ready to leave

It's amazing

All of the ink that was bled from your hands
Has painted a picture that she understands
It's amazing

And here by the ocean the sky's full of leaves
And what they can tell you depends on what you believe

The ash is a tree and the voices were three
And all that is gone is here sweeping through me
It's amazing
It's a maze

The voice of my father still loud as before
It used to scare me but not anymore
It's a maze