Monday, April 25, 2005 ~ 03:28 p.m.

The wedding dress fits and is absolutely perfect! Pardon me while I dance around in relief and elation.

I'm telling you, Lucy Pulley is a wizard. Her work on The Dress has been nothing short of magic. I spent a good long time prancing (yes, me...prancing) around in front of the mirror at the fitting on Saturday. Not because I like staring at myself in a mirror, but because The Dress, especially the train, just looked so pretty following me around. I was mesmerized by the shiny.

Some serious thanks go out to my four lovely bridesmaids for the shower they threw me on Saturday. Everything was beautiful and it was a lot of fun. There were games, yummy food, a spectacular cake (made by Jessica's mother), and presents that made me blush many many shades of red (thanks, Kimberly). In short, it was great!

There was also a shower on Sunday, thrown by the church ladies. I was really surprised that so many people showed up, but it too was a lot of fun.

And, oh, the presents. We got some of the niftiest things! We have some serious work to do, especially in the kitchen, but somehow, I don't think we're going to mind. *grin*


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Nifty Invention of the Day
Friday, April 22, 2005 ~ 02:49 p.m.

What an interesting tool this could be. The HyperSonic Sound System effectively "beams" sound directly into your head. As the article put it: "It works by sending a focused beam of sound above the range of human hearing. When it lands on you, it seems like sound is coming from inside your head."

Just think of the possibilities.

You have a crazy fundamentalist who's convinced that God wants him to kill you? Just get James Earl Jones on the line (preferably saying "No, you don't really want to blow up X") and, just like that, the voice of God has spoken.

Communication during, say, a presidential debate? It's a snap with the HyperSonic Sound System. Unless, of course, someone wanders into the beam, prompting bewildered questions like, "Why do the little voices in my head sound like Dick Cheney?"

Or, store managers could incorporate them into displays, so that as customers walk by, they hear advertisments for a product. Can you imagine? You're strolling along and all of a sudden, the Keebler Elves are in your head demanding that you buy more Fudge Shoppe cookies. And no one else can hear them. It would totally justify saying, "They called to me, and I just had to buy them."

Why, there's no end to the fun you could have with one of these gadgets.

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I told you they were evil...
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 ~ 10:06 a.m.

This story is one of the funniest I have read in a long long time. I'm wiping away tears as I type.

Neighborhood Hazard

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005 ~ 01:37 p.m.

The new Pope looks like Fester Adams. I wish I'd been the first to notice, but alas, this guy beat me to it.


The UAH Exponent was a pile of crap before Chris Brown took it over. During his years as editor, it went from a waste of perfectly good trees to a good source of campus news and entertainment. Alas, those days are gone.

The campus newspaper has once again reverted to a steaming heap of feces. Case-in-point: this article. It's bad enough to read about the death of a professor. Must we also mourn the death of decent writing skills?

Unfortunately, I can't really explain what makes it such a bad article. There are several grammatical errors, but I've seen worse. There aren't any blatant misspellings. It's just so...awkwardly written. For example:

"[traffic] circulation could not be entirely normalized"
"traffic was not fluent and drivers had to slow down continuously"
"Dr. Youmans was entrapped in her car."
"a previous accident that also occurred a couple of hours before"
"the Lincoln frontally crashed into a Chevy Tahoe"
"ICO officers hosted a bunch of performances"

*rolls eyes* This is news reporting, people! Stop being so damn pretentious. Lay off the thesaurus. Check your grammar every once in a while. Never use the words "a bunch of." Check for redundancy. I mean, really.

I know I'm not the best writer in the world, but I'm not putting my name on articles read by hundreds of people. I don't have to write well. *sigh* That's what I get for reading the Exponent. I won't be making that mistake again.

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Avoiding Work
Monday, April 18, 2005 ~ 11:23 a.m.

Last week was freakishly busy and now I've got enough work to keep me occupied throughout most of this week. Why is it that I have absolutely no motivation at all?

I spent last Friday working in our office in Chattanooga. It was interesting to see how another branch is run, but I find that I prefer the people in Huntsville. Those Chattanooga folks get to work on some interesting projects, but we're much more laid back here.

Only 27 days to go and the wedding is finally starting to feel real. Saturday morning we all got together and helped clean up the church. After we'd inhaled enough cleaning fumes, Todd and I headed out to a ballroom dance class with my parents. I've found that I really love dancing, so it was a lot of fun! Sunday was my (hopefully) next-to-last dress fitting. There's a few more things to take care of, but I'm not panicking yet. *grin*

Okay, back to work.

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Conversations with Jessica
Wednesday, April 13, 2005 ~ 10:07 p.m.

While driving around the dimly-lit backroads of Harvest, Alabama:

"Hey, Jessica, do you know where we are?"

"No, not really."

"Good. Get out."

".........Boot. You. Head. Got it?"


And we drive on.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 ~ 05:21 p.m.

Todd's out of town for the week, so naturally, work's been frightfully busy. I'm not sure why it works that way, but it does. Monday I was in Mississippi. Today started out in Elkmont, Alabama, but wound up back at the office when a client had a hissy fit because I haven't finished his report. Tomorrow is all about this report again and then it's looking like I'm to be farmed out to the Chattanooga office for the rest of the week.

I haven't made it to the last three Pilates classes because of work, dagnabit. I wish they had them at a time other than 5:30, but I'm honest enough to admit that if they were late enough that I could go home before a class, I'd never get back up off the sofa. Still, I'm starting to miss it.

In other news, after reading this, I'm feeling kind of sick. What is it about Wisconsin that makes the people there nuts? I understand that feral cats are a problem, so I agree with trapping and spaying/neutering. I know it costs a lot of money to run a program like that, but if they're really that concerned about the cat population, it's the best solution. I mean, I'm all for shooting an animal that represents a threat, but if you live in mortal fear of feral cats, then you need to go get your head checked out.

But honestly, what really bothers me is that their proposal would apply to any cat wandering around without a collar. Both Lilo and Stitch used to be strays. Shadow can get out of any collar ever created (he keeps a collection of them hanging on the garden fence). You can't prevent that, especially since most cat collars are designed to be break-away. Even cats that are housepets escape from time to time. What are you supposed to do to keep the gun-toting kook down the street from blowing away Fluffy?

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I probably shouldn't say this, but...
Friday, April 8, 2005 ~ 11:06 a.m.

Last night Jared found Saddam Hussein.

He was sitting behind me in the Huntsville Olive Garden.

Once Jared identified him, Jessica took a picture. Then we compared it to a file photo.

Apparently the former dictator has a soft spot for those delicious breadsticks (don't we all?) and just couldn't resist their siren song. So he and his cronies ventured forth from their evil lair (where they are surely building WMD with supplies fished out of Redstone Arsenal trash bins) to aquire tasty soup, salad, and of course, breadsticks.

Fair enough. The soup really was delicious.


DISCLAIMER: I would like to say that of course we realize this man was not, in all likelihood, Saddam Hussein. I acknowledge that he really doesn't look much like Saddam and that I probably shouldn't be posting his (blurry) picture, although it makes me laugh to remember the look on Jared's face. I would also like to offer my condolences to him regarding the number of cavity searches he has likely endured while traveling through our nation's airports.

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Thursday, April 7, 2005 ~ 05:14 p.m.

Happy Birthday, Jessica!

I hope it's good one!

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Wednesday, April 6, 2005 ~ 01:21 p.m.

Yesterday I paid $2.29 per gallon for regular unleaded. There's a term for that. I believe it's rape.

All I can think is that someone must have blown up the OPEC headquarters.

...And if they didn't, then maybe someone should.

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Good times
Monday, April 4, 2005 ~ 12:35 p.m.

Thanks to Amy, Jennifer, Kimberly, and JoAnna for a wonderful weekend! I had a blast. :-)

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It's going to be fun
Friday, April 1, 2005 ~ 02:36 p.m.

Bachelorette party this weekend! I can't wait to see everyone. :-D

And remember, girls, what happens in Atlanta, stays in Atlanta.

...Unless it can be used as blackmail in a future political campaign of some sort.


I'm such a sheep sometimes:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

"The load per unit area of the foundation at which shear failure in soil occurs is called the ultimate bearing capacity, which is the subject of this chapter."

Nope, definitely not the coolest book here.

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2004 slyflame