Belated Congrats
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 ~ 08:55 a.m.

Oh, and because I forgot to post it on Monday:

Congrats, Todd!

Todd finished his first triathalon on Sunday. The Rocketman Triathalon is hosted on the Redstone Arsenal and consists of a 0.5-mile swim, a 13-mile bike ride, and a 3.2-mile run. I just don't have the motivation to do something like that, so I think that's pretty damn cool and I'm incredibly proud of him. Go, read his post about it! :-)

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Why I shouldn't watch the local news...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005 ~ 08:33 a.m.

Okay, I'd just like to say that for all my self-centered whining yesterday, I am completely and totally thankful that I don't live in southern Alabama, Mississippi, or Louisiana. I would much rather whine about work and no sleep than have to have REAL worries like not knowing where my family is, or not having food, water, or a house.

But you should have seen the report on Channel 48 News last night. I have never seen such a pathetic and misguided story actually aired in my life. They actually went out and interviewed locals who had storm damage. "Storm damage" here consisted of downed trees and the destruction of one poorly constructed shed. The reporter actually had the nerve to talk about Huntsvillians "putting their lives back together" after the storm.

My solution is for the entire crew at Channel 48 News here in Huntsville to be taken from their homes in the middle of the night and dropped into the middle of New Orleans or Biloxi with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Then, perhaps, they could do a report on REAL suffering, instead of trying to whip up sympathy for people who have trees down in their front yards.


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Tuesday, August 30, 2005 ~ 02:57 p.m.

Cue the whining:

1) Katrina ate the redbud in our front yard.

2) Our power was out from about 1:00 AM until 7:00 or so this morning. Every appliance in the house notified us of the power outage by beeping at random intervals throughout the night. The end result was very little sleep and a very cranky Sarah.

3) I had to go to work. And I really, really didn't want to.

4) As a favor to our Nashville office, I dug some test pits and wrote a little 5-page letter, exactly as requested. Then they decided they didn't like the Huntsville format and/or wording, so they re-wrote the letter with their wording. Then they faxed me back 19 pages of chicken scratch to make me put it all back in the computer.

4a) I've already had to rewrite the letter once, due to their incompetence.

4b) If they don't like how Huntsville writes it, then maybe they should have written the f***ing report themselves. As it is, it will be a LONG time before I do anything to help them again.

4c) On the upside, 3 rewrites means I get to charge them a lot of money. Hah!

5) It's billing week. I hate billing week.

6) It's only Tuesday.

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And everyone kept this a secret?
Thursday, August 25, 2005 ~ 04:14 p.m.

This past Sunday, Todd and I loaded up the dogs and drove down to Jackie's lot on Smith Lake. Jackie's birthday was the 20th, so we made cupcakes and forced him to blow out a candle and everything. As part of the festivities, Jackie's dad and stepmom met us there with a GIANT watermelon in tow.

Being the birthday boy, Jackie did the honors. But when he split open that watermelon, I thought there'd been a serious mistake. Or that maybe the cantaloupes had been getting frisky with the other melons in the patch. What we had before us appeared to be the product of the forbidden love of the Cucurbitaceae family.

They all hurried to assure Todd and I that ORANGE was a perfectly normal, healthy color for a watermelon. Now, in my mind, an orange watermelon is normal only if your backyard is the Love Canal. But in Alabama, apparently they're a natural, tasty alternative to the boring, predictable red types. So, on Sunday, for the first time in my life, I ate an orange watermelon. And it was yummy.

Now I just have to wonder why it took me 23 years to not only encounter an orange watermelon, but to learn that they even EXIST.

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Dealing with the Nashville QORE office
Thursday, August 25, 2005 ~ 01:53 p.m.

Me: Careful you idiot. I said across her nose, not up it!

Nashville Employee 1: Sorry sir. Doing my best.

Me: Who made that man a gunner?

Nashville Employee 2: I did sir. He's my cousin.

Me: Who is he?

My Coworker: He's an asshole sir.

Me: I know that!....What's his name?

My Coworker: That is his name sir, Major Asshole.

Me: and his cousin?

My Coworker: He's an asshole too sir: Gunner's mate, first class, Philip Asshole

Me: How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow?

Nashville Office: YO!!!!

Me: I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!

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Friday, August 19, 2005 ~ 08:56 a.m.

My cousin Laura is the coolest person in the world.

Why? Because she gave me Ebola.

Of course, I still say it looks awfully similar to a Vermicious Knid.

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If I can last one more day, I might not go to jail
Thursday, August 18, 2005 ~ 04:07 p.m.

Every office has that one coworker who just aggravates the hell out of everyone around him. Today finds me wanting to shut his head in a file cabinet drawer. Several times. At least until he stops twitching. Thus far I have resisted, but oh how he tempts me. *grr ftt*

After a very quiet week around the house with just me and the animals, Todd's coming home from San Francisco today! I might joke a lot, but I really do miss him when he's gone. I mope - it's pitiful, really. Of course, if Jessica hadn't canceled on me just about every night this past week (AND last Thursday), it might not have been so lonely. *nudge* Guilt trip, guilt trip, guilt trip!

Ever since Nikita figured out how to kill birds, the birds haven't been too keen on raiding our blueberry bush in the backyard. More for me! I loathe August, but the blueberries almost make up for it.

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No kidding
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 ~ 12:37 p.m.

Quote of the Day: "Leave it to Fox News to make a hero out of mother who's lost a child in Aruba, but a villain out of one who's lost hers in Iraq." - Brian Arner

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Tuesday, August 9, 2005 ~ 01:56 p.m.

Is there anything more painful than listening to The Shrub give a speech on energy policy? It's nuclear, asshat. Nuclear.

In other news, I SO want a set of these for my birthday!

Road Rage Cards

That is all.

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Wedding Pictures
Monday, August 8, 2005 ~ 12:58 p.m.

For anyone who is interested (mostly those of you related to us), our wedding pictures are up on Log in with the event code 49700WWatts.

The pictures are poorly organized and there's a bazillion of them to sort through, but you can order them online, at least until August 30th.

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Thought Criminal
Friday, August 5, 2005 ~ 01:19 p.m.

I'll preface this by saying that while I don't know what a good alternative would be, I still really really really resent being "randomly" searched. I hate it at airports, I hate it at events, and if I were to ride on the New York subway tomorrow, I'd hate it then too.

That said, I'm pretty sure that if I carried one of these around, I'd eventually wind up in Gitmo.

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

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Funny of the Day
Tuesday, August 2, 2005 ~ 04:19 p.m.

From The Borowitz Report, one of my favorite fake news sites:

"Elsewhere, Nike announced that it would produce a series of advertisements featuring NBA star Kobe Bryant, but said it was unlikely that the phrase 'Just do it' would be part of the campaign."

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2004 slyflame