Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 03:58 p.m.

These were taken back at the beginning of the month, but at the moment, I have nothing to talk about except pregnancy stuff. I have placenta brain, people. So, pictures it is.

The story here is I was working in the yard and noticed that the branches of our plum tree are covered in little sparkly balls of sap. I guess it's from the Japanese beetles boring in, and I'm sure all the holes are terrible for the tree, but it sure is pretty.

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Belly Watch 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008 - 02:07 p.m.

The last seven weeks have brought a more subtle change than, say, the three weeks between 19 and 22. The belly doesn't extend outward much more than before, but the kid is clearly taking up more real estate in the vertical direction. Today we're actually fighting each other over who gets to occupy my ribcage: him or my lungs. He is currently winning.

As of tomorrow, we officially have only 10 weeks remaining in this pregnancy. HOLY CRAP. That seems so incredibly, frighteningly close and, at the same time, like an eternity. I want to meet this child so badly I feel like I can't wait another second. But at the same time, I don't want it to be over quite yet (even though I'm starting to think there's just not enough room in this body for the both of us), because honestly, it's been amazing so far.

On a somewhat related note, today's high temperature is supposed to be 101 here in Huntsville. And I'm wearing a (squirmy) heater. Woe.

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Why I fit in here
Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - 04:52 p.m.

(Just to clarify, I had NOTHING to do with this AT ALL. But this illustrates perfectly the kind of environment in which I work.)

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - 03:23 p.m.

Here's a great article mourning the death of satire.

"...Somewhere between the stained blue dress and the vice president shooting a guy in the face, between swift boat lies and 'war on terra' alibis, the absurd became the ordinary, facts became optional and satire became superfluous."

- Leonard Pitts Jr., "Tender children are good to eat"

And yet another reason why people who rely on herd immunity should be whacked soundly with a wiffle bat are not being very smart: "Measles Outbreak Hits 127 People in 15 States"

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Now in 4D
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 - 12:36 p.m.

Also, little 3-second video clips: Nudge / WHACK

I honestly could watch those all day.

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Men, take note
Thursday, July 10, 2008 - 09:17 a.m.

Okay, this bit of advice goes out to all menfolk everywhere. Let's say you have a six-months pregnant wife who hasn't been sleeping well lately. And then let us say that for the last several days she's had horrible congestion and a wracking, painful cough that sounds as if it's coming from somewhere around her toes. Her discomfort and exhaustion have increased exponentially as a result of restless night after restless night (not to mention the side effects of having to stuff her lungs back down into her chest cavity before she gets up to pee for the zillionth time). You both are finding it difficult to sleep with all the sniffling, horking, sneezing, and general ongoing misery.

Now, of course, this sucks for you too. But even if you have to get up early the next morning to go to work, or the gym, or to make your shuttle launch so you can save the entire f**king world from the asteroid barreling towards it, under no circumstances should you ever, EVER, turn to your beautiful, loving, pregnant-with-your-firstborn-son, trumpeting, hacking wife and tell her, "Could you please try to be a little quieter? I can't fall asleep."

Because let me just say, there's not a jury in the entire free world that will convict her for what she does next.

...And ladies, just so you don't feel left out, my advice to you is: Home Depot rents a mean woodchipper.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008 - 02:50 p.m.

Again, the trees are out to kill me, except this time they may just succeed. I could live with the congestion or the coughing or the baby-induced shortness of breath, but all three together means breathing is just too much work. I'm exhausted enough that I find myself wishing I could just take a short break from respiration all together. Instead, I occasionally have to stop and stare blankly at the wall while I focus on my oxygen supply. This makes people think I'm spacing out, but I'm actually working very hard.

On a happy note, I finally gave in to temptation and signed up for a 3-D ultrasound. It's scheduled for next Monday morning, so here's hoping the WonderFetus will cooperate this time and give us some good pictures.

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Around the yard
Saturday, July 5, 2008 - 08:55 p.m.



Note: These were taken with my aged but trusty Olympus C750UZ (the Precious). NOT the never-sufficiently-damned Canon S2IS. I still can't decide if the Canon sucks because there's something wrong with it, or if I'm just a total incompetent who can't figure out how to work a point-and-shoot (oh the shame).

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Not sure how I found this
Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - 12:39 p.m.

So for years, I've been saying that fabric softener makes fabrics less absorbent, and no one really seems to believe me. Well, guess what? SCIENCE WORKS, BITCHES. I am vindicated!

In baby news, Sunday evening I made my acquaintance with Braxton-Hicks contractions, which is another way of saying that I spent nearly four hours with the red alert siren whooping non-stop in my brain while I sat quietly and waited to find out if everything was fine or if maybe it was the end of the entire freaking world. I tried to play it all calm-like, but I think I gave it away when I couldn't stop my teeth from chattering in fear THE ENTIRE TIME. Oh, and all those resources that say Braxton-Hicks are totally painless? Yeah, that's a filthy lie and all those authors should be shot. Twice. Because I wouldn't have panicked so much if I known that sometimes, yeah, they hurt, but it doesn't mean that your baby's going to be born at 27 weeks and die. Yes, that would have been nice to know BEFORE I took that mental dive off the Cliffs of Insanity.

But anywho, lesson learned. I need to rest more, work less, drink more water, and ABOVE ALL, call mom before looking anything up in any pregnancy books.

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