*smack* ~ Wednesday, February 20, 2002 ~ 9:15 AM

These last couple days have been rough. I keep wanting to sit back and smack myself in the head repeatedly with a piece of 2x4 or something. No really. Don't you ever get that kind of impulse when you've just done something stupid, or said something retarded, or sometimes even when you didn't say anything at all...and should have? Eeep, but I can be such an idiot.

But aside from my random bouts of stupidity, this week started out pretty well. I do, however, have a soils test next Monday, a fluids test next Wednesday, an ethics paper next Tuesday, and a soils project all on my plate to tackle for next week. This weekend, things really kick into gear with ASCE, so I'll be up at Johnson at 5AM Saturday morning, 5PM Saturday night, and 5AM Sunday morning. It sucks, but they've promised me Krispy Kreme Hot Nows, for which, as we all know, I'll go to the ends of the earth if absolutely necessary. They're the carrot on the stick, if you will.

Jen, thank you so much for the fun card!!!! Dr. Seuss rules! *does a happy dance* The HP Valentine is cute too. :-) And thank you for what you said. You really are an awesome friend and I'm lucky to have you there to cheer me up...and to set me straight when I've tied my head up into knots. *hug*

Well, it's time to start the day. First off: history class. Joy supreme. ;-) At least it's a gorgeous day and I'll get to be outside for about an hour during practice.

Current Music: 'Building a Mystery' - Sarah McLachlan

Pointless Blog Entry ~ Sunday, February 17, 2002 ~ 5:51 PM

Another weekend draws to a close and tomorrow the rat race begins anew. This has been a fun weekend - the end result being I really haven't gotten much done. The vampire game last night was a lot of fun, although over half the people who were supposed to show didn't, due to the sudden collapse and subsequent White Wolf takeover of the Camarilla. People are still reacting to the news that the entire international organization dissapeared overnight and lots of people are pissed off on both sides. End result is that a lot of them won't attend games held under the new Camarilla. *shrug* Their loss. We had fun, they didn't. So there. Nyuh! Oh and we got nifty pics, too, thanks to Jeff's new digital camera.

I finally picked out a topic today for my history paper. A good thing too, since our bibliography is due tomorrow. *grin* Nothing like procrastination! And speaking of procrastination, the old hag should finally give us back our tests tomorrow. I've never had a prof take a week to grade a 55 minute test, but then again, I've also never had Satan's handmaid as a professor. If she's to be believed, we all failed, but I'm finding it really hard to care at the moment.

Today's just been a very lazy day. :-D I spent the morning redesigning various portions of the ASCE site, which as you can see severely needs it, and most of the afternoon wandering the new sections of the campus library, trying to figure out where they'd moved everything. This evening shouldn't be any more eventful - just good lazy time. I'll be able to get my internet fix before they turn off our phones AND internet tomorrow morning. I might even actually cook dinner tonight! A truly scary thought...

Current Music: 'The Sound of Silence' - Simon and Garfunkel

Random ~ Saturday, February 16, 2002 ~ 2:03 PM

Thursday night I finally got the chance to talk to JoAnna, a friend of mine from high school who is currently living in Minnesota and expecting her first child, a son, in March. We talked for a couple hours and she's sounds happier than I've ever known her to be, even though she and her husband are having a hard time getting their feet under them right now. We talked some about where they're living now and about her job, but we also talked a lot about the baby - what she's going to name him, how her pregnancy is going, all the usual topics.

Jo was the second one of us to get married, which was shocking enough in and of itself. Now, the fact that she's a mother is really hard to get around, because she's only a year older than me. And this started me thinking. I mean, 21 is young, but with the whole tick tock of the biological clock, we're all expected to be married and have kids by the age of 30 at the latest...which freaks me out.

Don't get me wrong. I love children (even when they're monsters) and I think eventually I'll make a pretty good mother, but that's the key...eventually. Right now, just the thought of being responsible for the creation and care of a person any time in the near future is utterly terrifying. Currently, I'm doing good just to take care of myself, and although I get mushy when I see other people's children running around, I know for a fact that right now I could never be JoAnna. I've got too much I have to do before I'll be ready to devote my life to someone besides myself. I'm happy for Jo, but we're all so YOUNG. Twenty should mean we have a lot more time to go before we have to think about kids and marriage, but although ten years sounds like a long time, really it isn't. I just can't get my brain around the idea that before the decade is up, I could be the one expecting my first child. *cringe*

Kind of makes me wonder who the next one to tie the knot will be. Anna was the first, then Jo (both of them mothers now), so who will it be? Kimberly, Jen, you'd better watch out...it could be Morley! ;-)

Current Music: 'Magdalena' - A Perfect Circle

Fun Friday ~ Friday, February 15, 2002 ~ 11:32 PM

Quote of the Day: "Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it." - Tom Lehrer

Thanks to several very good friends, today wound up being a pretty good day after all. I ended up off campus, not once but twice, which is highly unusual for me in any given day. First, this afternoon, instead of having our usual paddling practice, Todd took us up to Monte Sano to hike. I don't know why he decided we needed a break from the norm, but words can't express my gratitude. It was a gorgeous day and to spend any more of it inside would have been just...well, WRONG. So instead I spent my afternoon scurrying around the ridgeline of Monte Sano and just generally having a great time. It was kind of depressing to come back to campus - I could have stayed out there for another couple hours at least. I miss just sitting outside in the quiet and we pretty much kept moving the entire time. But we all had things to do and people to annoy, so we didn't really have the choice but to leave.

Then, at Jeff and Kat's request, I went over to Amy and Jeff's house for dinner. We ended up watching A Bug's Life, Iron Chef (a damn scary show, if ever there was), and hockey for the first part of the night and listening to Tom Lehrer, Arrogant Worms, and various other extremely amusing things for the rest of the evening while staring with blatant fascination at the lava lamp above the TV (no, no pot was involved - we're just naturally easily distracted). It's been a loooong time since I've met someone else who loves Tom Lehrer songs. *grin* That's the music I grew up on, along with Flanders and Swann which explains a lot, according to Kat...

Jeff and I talked some last night. Really, it was the first serious 'where-are-we-going' talk we've had since we "broke up" last month. We're still seeing each other, with the option to date other people, and we're still good friends, but I think both of us have kind of bruised feelings right now. Basically, we're both really confused (me more than him, I think) and it sucks. Hopefully everything will work out.

Anyways, it's about time I headed to bed. I've got paddling practice tomorrow morning, bright and quasi-early, and I need to get in some good coma time before I try to tackle that.

Current Music: 'Yoda' - Weird Al

Apathy Attack ~ Thursday, February 14, 2002 ~ 9:35 AM

Quote of the Day: "I've been everybody else, now I want to be something closer to myself." - Kendall Payne

I've got to get out of this city. I just want to leave and go somewhere I have no obligations to anyone and no one depending on me for anything. Not home, not even to visit friends - I just want to kick back somewhere and not worry about anything for the next couple months. Screw school, screw ASCE, screw everything that currently defines my life.

This isn't just a sudden revelation, either. It's been building for the last month. Everything around me has gotten too damn complicated and for the first time in my life, I'm not really willing to step up to the plate. I don't really see the point of anything I'm doing any more. It's almost an apathy attack, but really it's more the desire to be apathetic. After all, if I didn't care about disappointing everyone around me (and myself *wince*) then things would be a hell of a lot easier.

*sigh* Sorry for the bitchy entry, but it's what's running through my head these days. I feel like I'm just going through the motions, doing what everyone expects me to, and I've just forgotten how to be happy. But enough whining.

We still haven't gotten our evil history tests back, but our prof bitched us out yesterday morning for doing so poorly. The old hag also bitched me out personally after class for attempting to leave on time to get to practice. I've never liked this woman, but I really think we could progress to outright mutual hatred by the end of the semester. My day improved a lot, though, when I decided to skip fluids. I went out to lunch with some friends, finished my soils homework, and even had time for a nice long relaxing shower. Yes, I was a much happier bunny for skipping. I think I'll do it more often - it's not like the man actually teaches anyway. ;-)

Anyways, it's just about time to start my day. Ethics, then practice, then goofing off until Jeff gets out of class. Sometime in there, I suppose I should work on my history paper. Then again, maybe I should bash my head repeatedly into a brick wall. Hmm...tempting.....

Current Music: 'Hunter' - Dido

Friends ~ Tuesday, February 12, 2002 ~ 12:21 AM

Quote of the Day: "Poets have been mysteriously quiet on the subject of cheese." - J.K. Chesterton

Jen, thanks so much for calling me Sunday night. You were completely right - I needed to talk. I don't feel much better about things, but at least I've gotten some of it off my chest. The situation I talked about keeps geting worse every single day, but at least it's not all bottled up anymore. *hug* Thank you!

I just got back from working on the canoe over at Johnson. Turns out the SGA meeting I thought was Thursday was tonight, so we went to that after getting food, then came back to JRC and worked for a couple hours. Unfortunantly, I've still got a lab report to write and I'd really like nothing more than to climb in bed and sleep. Blargh. Damn lab reports...one of the true evils of college.

Current Music: 'Horseshoes' - Moxy Fruvous

Lately ~ Sunday, February 10, 2002 ~ 5:37 PM

Quote of the Day:"How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people." - Edward White Benson

So between getting locked out of my room and being forced to climb up a ladder to get through my window, my entirely unplanned 14-hour round trip to Fitzgerald, Georgia with Todd to fetch back the ASCE trailer, finding out I've been selected for the ASCE Student of the Year award thingy, general class stuff, and going home to Nashville for the weekend, I've been a busy little girly. A lot has happened over these last few days, and if I tried to type it all up, this blog entry would never end. Suffice it to say that I've had a lot of fun, been really busy, and now have a lot to think about over the next few weeks.

In fact, I've been thinking a lot this past month. Well, not thinking so much as fighting an emotional war with myself. Don't you hate it when the logical side of you starts getting uppity with the rest? Nattering away, pointing out all the problems with the way things are going, when you'd be completely happy to stumble blindly along, following your heart instead of your head. *sigh* I know I do.

Current Music: 'Something to Sleep To' - Michelle Branch

Wintery Mix, Bah ~ Wednesday, February 6, 2002 ~ 9:01 AM

I am the anti-snow.

No, seriously. Where I am, it snows not. Take for instance, Nashville and Huntsville. It is snowing in Nashville right now because I am in Huntsville. Last time I was in Nashville it snowed in Huntsville. Where I am, an observable bubble forms for about a hundred mile radius. You can see it on the radar - the snow will split, go around my area, and reform on the other side. It's the damndest thing. And it really makes for a boring winter.

Last night when I went to bed, things were progressing quite nicely. Sleet was coming down and coating everything and today was shaping up to be a nice, calm, 'no classes for me, thanks' kind of day. Of course, this morning I wake to rain. My sis is probably getting loads of snow as I write. But none for me. *piteous sniffle*

Well, enough whining. I found out something yesterday after practice that kind of made my day. Crystal and I have been consistently running the 600m distance section of our paddling course in about five minutes and thirty-something seconds on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We didn't feel as bad as we might because one Saturday we ran a 5:18, but we still felt kind of bummed out because we want it in the 4:50s for the national competition. So yesterday on our last run, Todd, our coach, decided to time us. We busted our asses the whole way down the pond and back, and it felt like it'd been a six-minute run, we were so dead. We cruised into shore and everyone was standing around frowning. I finally got enough breath back to ask that time and Todd answers with, "5:12. Actually a little bit less, but essentially a 5:12," and starts grinning. After making him repeat it a couple more times we finally realized he wasn't joking. That's when he told us that he'd been adding anywhere from 10 to 20 seconds to all of our times he'd run. The 5:36 we'd felt so bad about had actually been a 5:16; good enough to put us in third at nationals! So now there's actually hope we'll break 5 minutes before regionals! *cheers* I was starting to really wonder if we could.

Anyways, it's about time to start my day. It's going to be a long one, what with classes and meetings and such, but it should be pretty fun. And who knows, maybe one of my profs won't be able to make it down off the mountain if it's still a little icy. Wouldn't that be nice?

Current Music: 'Whatever' - Hamasaki Ayumi

Just Sitting ~ Monday, February 4, 2002 ~ 3:40 PM

And indeed I am. Just sitting, I mean. It's the dead time between my fluid mechanics class and my soil mechanics class, and I'm stuck here at Tech Hall. Normally, I use this time to do homework and stuff, but today I'm being extremely lazy. I'll probably regret it later, when I want to go work on the canoe or something, but really, I'm just not currently motivated.

On the upside, I just read an amusing review of Brotherhood of the Wolf that KoRyo posted yesterday on Digital Tirade. For the two minutes it took me to read it, my intense boredom was relived, so I just though I'd reccommend it, in case you too are just moments away from enjoying a nice long coma. Oh, and if that doesn't help, there's always time to brush up on your String Theory.

So what now? I've pretty much exhausted all my goofing-off options. I've checked every friend's site and/or blog I know. I've checked email five times now. I've even read all the interesting headlines in Yahoo News. Blogging was my last resort before I turn to random surfing, and now even that draws to a close. Looks like it's time to start meandering around the net to see what I find. Could be interesting. Could be scary. Could result in my optical nerves being seared out of my skull. But at least whatever happens, it certainly won't be boring.

Movie Time ~ Sunday, February 3, 2002 ~ 12:00 PM

Having had quite a bit more free time this weekend than the usual, I had the rare opportunity to actually get out and DO stuff. Friday night, Jeff and I went out to eat and then meandered over to the movie theater to see Brotherhood of the Wolf. *grin* Go, see it. It was awesome. :-) Then last night, a couple of us got together at Kat and Sean's apartment for dinner and a movie. We ended up watching a movie called Following. Now, for those of you who have seen Memento, you'll understand what a movie written and directed by Christopher Nolan is like. Just like with Memento, at the end of Following, you sit back in complete awe of the way that man can take a reasonably convoluted plotline, mix it up so it is utterly impossible to figure out until the exact moment he chooses, and use it to totally screw with your head.

Today, even though I have almost no interest in football, I'm probably going to head over to a friend's house for a "Super Bowl party." Really, we're going just to eat and hang out and we'll probably watch all of about five minutes of the game, total, but it's always good to be around friends. *grin* Oh yeah, and I guess I'd better do homework at some point too. ;-)

Current Music: 'Winter' - Tori Amos

Promises ~ Thursday, January 31, 2002 ~ 1:05 PM

Okay, so the issue got brought up the other night why it is that people will cheat on a spouse and is there ever any justifiable reason? My answer was no, because I've always been one for keeping promises, especially one as big as marriage. I stick to the idea that if you think you're mature enough to go through the whole marriage thing and make such important, life-changing decisions, you'd better be prepared to hold to what you say. The sad thing is that I keep seeing people around me, my age and younger, who run off and get married without ever considering the consequences of their actions. A year later, they're miserable and they want a divorce. People are allowing themselves to become so blinded by romance that they don't even stop to think. All they see is happily ever after and they don't put any thought into the technicalities of actually living with someone for the rest of their life.

It's kind of disturbing to me how trivial the whole concept of marriage appears to have become to this generation. More and more, people enter into marriage with the idea that they can always leave if it doesn't work out, which is the wrong way to go about it. If you want/need a way out, then you should just stick to dating. Once you've made a promise, you really can't just go back on it. I understand that sometimes there are very good reasons for divorce, but I keep seeing people breaking up marriages for trivial reasons. A good friend of mine is currently dating a married girl, who is getting divorced simply because she met my friend, and I just can't get over how wrong that seems. If she wanted the option to date other people, why in the hell did she ever get married??? Sheer stupidity would be my guess.

I'm not really all that traditional, I just don't understand why someone would go through all the motions of marriage to live the same exact lifestyle as before. Seems to me that if you're willing to go through all that trouble, you might as well have thought it out beforehand and actually MEAN it. And you certainly should never make a promise you don't know if you can keep.

Current Music: 'Green Eggs and Ham' - Moxy Früvous

Mornings, blah ~ Monday, January 28, 2002 ~ 8:47 AM

This whole waking up thing is soooooo overrated. You'd think that if I'm getting up at the same time every day, I'd get used to it at some point, but no. You'd also think that given I had three semesters in a row with 8AM classes, waking up at 8AM now would be a breeze. Once again, no. It doesn't help that I have a morning person for a roommate. This girl is up at 5AM every single morning, even on the days when she doesn't have class until 3! It's sick, I tell you! I'll drag out of bed and the first obstacle I confront is this smiling morning person in my path chirping "Good Morning!" at me. Freaks me out. I think she's usually a bit taken aback at the fact I only communicate in snarls until after breakfast, but after almost six motnhs of living with me, she's getting used to it.

The weather has been gorgeous here. It's been in the 70s all week, so far, with sun and just the right amount of wind. Unfortunantly, I've been stuck inside with all the work I've been trying to get done. I still haven't finished my ethics paper, which was supposed to be due yesterday. I keep trying to write, but the more I write, the more confused I get. *sigh* I guess this illustrates exactly why you should never toss an engineer into an honors philosophy class when they haven't written a non-technical paper in the last two years.

Current Music: 'Closer to Myself' - Kendall Payne

Another Week Beckons ~ Sunday, January 27, 2002 ~ 10:19 PM

I'm pretty sure today is Sunday. I'm not certain because I've been having the most difficult time keeping up these last few days, but it seems to me that it's about time for another week to begin. I've got a lot on my plate this week. I've got my first fluid dynamics test tomorrow and my first ethics paper due Tuesday. Then I've got the usual homework and lab report, along with my history paper that I desperately need to start work on. The thing with TBE has reached the absolute height of convoluted due to the co-op department's intense desire to screw me over in every conceivable fashion. I believe they've made it a kind of hobby. Still, everything is a happy kind of frantic and I'm going into Monday in a good mood.

Jeff and I went out to Bennigan's last night and had a really great time. I think we probably freaked out most of the people around us with our conversations, but that's half the fun. It had been a while since we'd gone on a date, so Jeff figured it was time. Plus, I think he sensed that I needed off campus. Things are working out well between us and we seem to be getting along better than ever. The awkwardness left over from the beginning of this month is almost completely gone and although we haven't really made a decision as to where we're going, we're happy with how things are for now.

I just got off the phone with my parents and found out they're sending me a care package! :-D Woo hoo! That probably means good cookie food headed my way, along with nifty attention-diverting desk toys. Now I know this week is going to be a good one. After all, evil cannot possibly withstand the omnipotent power of homemade cookie goodness.

Current Music: 'Listen to Your Heart' - Roxette

Marshmellow? ~ Thursday, January 24, 2002 ~ 10:01 PM

So I was getting ready for paddling practice this afternoon and I'd opened my window to check the rapidly dropping temp to see how many layers I'd have to put on to remain warm and dry for longer than five minutes. I'd just decided on seven when I heard one of the building fire alarms start up. Now, I live in a dorm complex that among other things, also encompasses Greek housing, so fire alarms are common enough that if there ever is a fire in my building, flames will be physically licking at my door before I notice. A few minutes later, though, I started to hear people yelling "Get Out! Fire!." I kind of perked up at that and decided to mosy on outside just to make certain it wasn't my building. It wasn't, but immediately I could smell smoke, so I walked out to the stairs at the end of the hallway to see people milling all around 604, Jeff's building, while smoke poured out one of the windows on the top floor and housing officials raced up and down the stairs flushing out residents. A few minutes later the calvary began to arrive. I couldn't see very well from my vantage point, although I was doing as much rubbernecking as I possibly could (hell, it's not every day a dorm catches fire), but the final total was six fire trucks, a fire chief, an ambulance, and untold numbers of cops. Not bad, huh? They were able to put the fire out pretty swiftly after Jeff flipped the circuit breaker to the offending electrical circuit and once it became apparent that no one was going to die and the building wasn't going to collapse, everything swiftly returned to it's normal, mundane state of being.

The real kicker, though, is that more people turned out to see 604 burn than have ever attended housing events. I didn't know that many people lived in southeast housing, much less would respond to anything short of eviction! I figure we ought to have building burnings more often (complete with marshmellows, of course), because I met people today I never even knew existed in my building. The pull of morbid curiosity apparently outweighs all other forms of entertainment, which is somewhat disturbing if you think about it. Not even free food has the same appeal as the possibility of seeing toasted bodies. Which brings me to the point that if housing would just let us burn sorority chicks at the stake, we'd have a much greater sense of community....

Current Music: 'Only Happy When It Rains' - Garbage

Brain Stretch! ~ Tuesday, January 22, 2002 ~ 6:11 PM

While puttering around APOD, I found a link to this lovely site on string theory. If you've got some free time and enjoy having your brain tied in knots, I highly recommend checking it out. :-)

Today has been a pretty good day. I've been going since 11 this morning and won't really have a good break until 9. I just got out of the shower, thawing after practice, and I'm about to run out the door to go meet Kat for dance. It's been fun though. Up until about 5, it was an absolutely gorgeous day. I'm on top of almost all my classes and everything's going pretty well. Plus, now I know a bit more about string theory. What a way to end a day! *grin*

Current Music: 'Something to Sleep To' - Michelle Branch

"Free Day" ~ Monday, January 21, 2002 ~ 3:39 PM

For a free day, today has turned out to be pretty busy! :-) I've done laundry, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, wirtten a lab report, and I'm currently baking Jeff's belated birthday cake. I've still got an ethics paper to write, soil mechanics homework to finish, and a fluids test to study for, but I think I should have plenty of time tonight after dinner. I can't complain about today being so busy simply because I did absolutely nothing this weekend. Saturday I had practice then a Vampire game and yesterday I spent in bed until 2, then went out with friends until about 11. I think it was time well spent, but I wish I didn't have to play catch up now. *grin*

Still, even though it's been busy, I'm in a good mood. I'm not very stressed and everything seems to be going pretty well. I always enjoy four-day weeks - once I get over the confusion of starting on Tuesday, that is. ;-)

Current Music: 'Cornflake Girl' - Tori Amos

*yawn* ~ Thursday, January 17, 2002 ~ 1:13 PM

This week we began our six-days-a-week paddling schedule. Todd, our coach, has decided that we will be the best - no questions. Unfortunately, to be the best, I first have to work my way up from the lazy weakling state I currently enjoy. I haven't done this many sit-ups and push-ups since high school and I certainly have never been in the habit of running a mile every day. *makes a face* I figure what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but as for whether or not this week kills me, the jury's still out. I keep telling myself, it's a good pain.

In addition to kicking my own ass daily, I also didn't sleep very well last night. The end result was that I put forth a less-than-stellar performance today in ethics. I'm pretty sure my prof spent most of the class period wondering exactly why it is that I'm still alive, since I didn't appear to have the sense God gave a chipmunk. I spent most of the hour and twenty minutes contemplating a crack in the concrete block wall directly opposite me, completely ignoring the classes' babblings about Plato. The sad thing is, I think I learned more from the wall.

I got another job offer yesterday. My Soil Mechanics prof, the new geotech advisor, wants me to work with her over the summer. It sounds like a really good deal and I'm going to talk to her some more next week. I still haven't heard back from the co-op office, so I'm going to run over there later today to raise holy hell. :-)

Today should be pretty good, or at least what's left of it. I've got practice this afternoon and an ASCE meeting tonight. I've decided to run for ASCE treasurer. I might make it to the Cam meeting too, but probably not. Still, there's enough shit flying that I might be better off missing it. Today is shaping up be a relatively decent day.

Current Music: 'Volcano Girls' - Veruca Salt

*grinds teeth* ~ Saturday, January 12, 2002 ~ 9:46 PM

My roommates are morons. Apparently our fridge started to die about two days ago. Did they tell me? Did they call maintenance? No! They simply kept turning it up to a higher setting every time they noticed it was getting too warm. This morning when I got my breakfast, I noticed that all the food in the freezer was half thawed, but since one of them had left the freezer door open all night, I assumed that was why. So I'm getting dinner and suddenly realize that my milk is warm. I check the thermostat and it's on the highest setting.

Now, I know Ming Lei doesn't understand the concept of refrigerating food to keep it safe. If she did, she wouldn't leave raw chicken or beef out all night and cook with it the next day or leave steamed vegitables on the counter for two days to mold. But is it too much to expect her to notice when an appliance is BROKEN??? I've called it in now, but it's Saturday night. It's not going to be fixed any time soon. I'll probably end up putting all our food in the hall for the night. Dammit! *seeths* Oh well...at least it's not summer this time.

Current Music: 'Gasoline' - Moist

And so it goes ~ Tuesday, January 8, 2002 ~ 3:12 PM

Well, hopefully I'll be hearing from Teledyne Brown soon. So far they've lead me to believe that if I signed up with the co-op department, they'd hire me right off the bat. I went to the co-op office today and registered, so if Teledyne is serious, I should have a job sometime this semester! This works out really well, because even though the job is in the systems engineering department, I'll only be co-oping until I graduate in summer 2003. After that, I'm hoping they'll want to hire me for a real job, hopefully in a department closer to my major. I'm thinking of this as a way of getting my foot in the door and getting some experience in a pretty cool field along the way. *grin*

Classes have been interesting so far. I don't care for my ethics class much, but the others are okay. My soil mechanics prof is really cool and I think she'll make the class enjoyable. History is history and fluid mechanics is taught by a prof who is more interested in telling stories than teaching. *shrug* He's strange, but nice.

Current Music: 'Building a Mystery' - Sarah McLachlan

Cliché ~ Sunday, January 6, 2002 ~ 11:46 PM

You always hear that old cliché: “when you love someone, you’re leaving yourself vulnerable because they’ll be able to hurt you in ways you never thought anyone could.” A pity it’s so true. There’s nothing worse than giving everything to a person, giving them years of your life, and have that person suddenly reject you – not because of anything you’ve done or they’ve done, but because they feel like they need a change. Like you’re a pair of socks or something. That a long-term relationship can be thrown away, POOF just like that, with no warning is…..well, it hurts. It hurts a lot. Even when the person who hurt you realizes what they’ve done, even when they try to take it back, and even when everything has been forgiven, there’s still that hurt. Anger can be put aside, but pain takes a little longer to forget.

I don’t know what to think or what I should do. I don’t know why Jeff suddenly made his decision he made or why he’s not content with just being happy. Right now I’m just concentrating on getting on with my life. I figure that whatever is meant to happen will happen, for good or bad, right or wrong.

I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

Damn UAH ~ Friday, January 4, 2002 ~ 2:19 PM

Quote of the Day: "I quit drinking because there's nothing worse than waking up next to someone and not knowing who they are, how you met, why they're dead...."

I'm not sure how they do it. I'm not even back in Huntsville and I'm already stressed out again!!! First off, UAH once AGAIN billed me before applying my scholarship. They took out $2000 more than allowed them - they'll send me the refund check sometime this month. Fortunantly, I had the extra money so it didn't break me, but it really pulls on the savings account. I didn't know about their screwup until just a little while ago because they bill the bank directly. This is the THIRD time they've done this. I already paid the bursar's office a visit about it last semester. This time I intend to make absolutely certain they understand me completely before I leave. They will not make this mistake again.

Then, I get a letter from Teledyne Brown. Turns out I impressed a few people at the interview and since I can't work full time, they're wanting to hire me on as a co-op. Only one problem: they refuse to do it directly and I'm not currently registered with the UAH co-op department. ARGH! I have no desire to be afiliated with the co-op office because of all the horror stories I've heard. That and the fact that they've already randomly deleted me once. So now I have to decide if I want the job badly enough to sell my soul to UAH. I think I do, but I need to talk to a few people first.

Now I find that my classes are going to be worse than I thought. My history prof has apparently confused our class with the lit class that's supposed to be next door. We have a bunch of other books we're supposed to buy in addition to the text books. Like I have time for extra reading!!! And I have the senile Fluids prof. I'll get an A in his class, but only because he gives out the test beforehand and the test is open notes, not because he can teach. I'd like to maybe LEARN something this semester rather than waste my time. *sigh* I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on the upcoming semester, but it's not looking promising.

*grumble* Sorry to spend this entire entry bitching, folks. I keep worrying that I'm getting too bitter and cynical, like all the other senior engineers I've observed over the last three years. I don't really think I want to be like them, but I definitely understand how they got that way. I almost envy those little bright-eyed, bushy-tailed little unsuspecting freshmen.

On the upside, I went out and got the movie Office Space and the book Prophecy today with my gift certificates. If I ever have free time again, I certainly won't lack for entertainment! *grin* I've gotten lots of cool movies this Christmas: Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, Contact, Office Space, and The Emperor's New Groove are some of them. I also got a beautiful poster of The Accolade to put up in the main room when I get back. *grin* Pretty posters make it all better.

New Year ~ Thursday, January 3, 2002 ~ 3:16 PM

Well, here it is. Two thousand and two. A whole new year to play with. I guess I'm kind of wondering what we're going to do with it. As always, anything can happen (and usually does), but as a follow-up to the last part of 2001, this year definitely has the potential to be interesting. One for the history books, as they say.

School starts again this coming Monday. I think I'm ready to go back, but I'm really not looking forward to at least two of my classes. I'm good at engineering - give me engineering classes and I'll do well in them because that's what I want to do. This semester I have History and Ethics, classes I'll do well in out of sheer stubborness rather than a desire to learn. I loathe going home to read stuffy pretentious textbooks and I resent wasting my time and brain space learning stuff that I will never again use. Still, if I want to graduate, I don't have a choice. I must be a good little 'well-rounded' engineer.

I'll be glad to see Jeff again. He gets back to Huntsville today, after driving through all the snow that got dumped on the mid-Alabama region. The ASCE back-to-school party has been scheduled for Saturday night, but I'm going to skip it to see him, since I'm not getting back until that morning. I've still got to give him his Christmas presents.

On a side note, Jen, I've got the pictures of Jo's wedding back. They didn't turn out very well (damn disposable camera, I wish I hadn't forgotten mine), but I've scanned them in. They'll be posted today or tomorrow here.

Anyways, here's wishing everyone a happy new year. I go now to waste away the last few hours of my winter break. Toodles!

Current Music: 'Ordinary Life' - Kristin Barry


Name : Sarah, Flame, Sly, Bad Llama, S
Birthdate : October 3, 1981
Gender : Female
Occupation : Full Time Enlightened One; Part Time Poor College Student
Major : Civil Engineering :-) Heh.
Homepage : Habitat

Friends' Blogs:
- Avani
- Jen
- Omega
- portablekat
- CitizenROM
- Lakota
- Club Todder
- Digital Tirade

- 10.16.01 ~ 12.28.01
- 8.25.01 ~ 10.9.01
- 7.23.01 ~ 8.22.01
- 6.25.01 ~ 7.20.01
- 5.23.01 ~ 6.19.01
- 4.16.01 ~ 5.19.01
- 3.19.01 ~ 4.13.01
- 3.01.01 ~ 3.18.01
- 1.22.01 ~ 2.28.01

Web Comics:
- Sluggy Freelance

Current Favorite Songs:
- 'Sweet Misery' by Michelle Branch
- 'Wherever, Whenever' by Shakira
- 'Jenny Says' by Cowboy Mouth
- 'Hey Pretty' by Poe
- 'Lucky' by Bif Naked
- 'Here With Me' by Michelle Branch
- 'Volcano Girls' by Veruca Salt

Books You Should Read:
- the Honor Harrington series by David Weber
- the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling
- Mutineer's Moon by David Weber
- the Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin
- the Dune series by Frank Herbert
- The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
- The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Favorite TV Shows
- Farscape
- Babylon 5
- Crusade
- ST:TNG, DS9, and Enterprise
- The Daily Show

Movies to See:
- The Whole Nine Yards
- Shrek
- Fallen
- Labyrinth
- Leon / The Professional
- The Usual Suspects
- Center Stage
- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
- Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal
- The Fifth Element
- Apollo 13
- The Last Supper
- What's Up Doc?
- Mulan
- anything Mel Brooks
- The Dark Crystal
- Courage Under Fire
- Memento
- Rules of Engagement
- Following

Song of the Month:
Goodbye To You
Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star